Emotional Disaster.

I lied. This post is not on my favorite baby products (I promise it's coming). Bear with me. This day has been something I've been anticipating. Something I've been looking forward to. I had an IEP/preschool meeting for the boys this morning. Little did I know that I would turn into an emotional wreck though. As I sit here, my eyes are flooded with tears. Okay, maybe that is an understatement. My mascara is running down my face. Let me explain why. I finally have to face the fact that my boys are not your "average" kid. I have to relive the trauma that they faced when they were born 14 weeks too early. The questions of "what will their future look like?" still linger in my head. I'm sad. I still feel like this is something that I could have prevented even though my heart tells me that I did all that I possibly could. I endured "surgery" at both 8/9 weeks and 18 weeks pregnant. I laid on my sofa/hospital bed for a total of 72 (out of 183) days of my pregnancy. I know I did everything I was asked to do but I can't help but question why my body couldn't at least carry them to 28 or 30 weeks. Maybe their outcome would be totally different. But the truth in the matter is that it just couldn't. 26 weeks and 1 day was their destiny.

Back to the IEP meeting. Because of their extensive delays, both boys qualify for 2 days a week of early intervention preschool (also known as special education). Those last two words are unsettling to me. They will also continue to receive occupational, physical and speech therapy during those 2 "school" days. While I know this will be so great for them, I can't help but be selfish in thinking that this sucks at the same time. I just want them to lead a "normal" life.

The teachers, specialists and therapists were so positive today so why am I feeling like such an emotional disaster? I guess this is just the next step on our journey. Most days I can handle what hand we've been dealt but today is one of those down days. I know tomorrow will be different. I know that I will continue to see my children shine & develop and for that I am truly thankful. But sometimes you just need to cry in order to see the sun shine tomorrow.

Beauty Products I Love...

It's been awhile. And in case anyone is still reading this, I decided to change the pace a little. I thought I'd write about something other than my kids. Even though I am chasing after three little ones, I still take time to "primp" myself each day. It's the only way I feel normal. Even if I am just staying at home. So I thought I'd share some things I can't live without.

1. Philosophy Pure Grace Perfume - You can find this at Ulta for about $50. It smells like HEAVEN. It has a little bit of a beachy smell and it gives me a minute to escape to a sandy beach until I hear someone screaming.

2. Hair Rules Aloe Grapfruit Purifying Shampoo - I don't use this everyday but when my hair starts to feel junky I switch out my regular shampoo (Silky Sexy Hair Shampoo Lite) for this. You can also get this at Ulta. A little goes a long way so the $9.50 investment per bottle can go a long way.

3.  Bed Head Urban Antidotes Recovery Conditioner - This also sold me by the way it smells but I continue to use it because I love how it works with my hair. I blow dry and straighten my hair every single day. Seriously. So this helps bring some moisture back into my "stressed" hair.

4. Unite Lazer Straight Relaxing Fluid - I bought this from Bombshell for about $23 (I think) but it looks like Amazon sells it online for  $17-30. It is super light weight and perfect for taming frizz during the humid months.

5.  Benefit Boi-ing & Eye Bright Duo - You can also find this at Ulta (notice a pattern? Ulta is my weakness). I need this everyday. It makes me look bright eyed even though in reality I am quite exhausted. You can buy it seperate or as a duo. It's about $19-28 dollars.

6. CG Smoothers Tinted Moisturizer - LOVE this! Super light and not oily. Gives your skin a nice balance even on a hot summer day. About $7.

7. Benefit Sugarbomb - This can be used as a blush or all over color. Let's face it, I don't get a lot of sun so this helps bring a little color to my face instead. $28 at Ulta.

8. Earth Therapeutics Gentle Foot Peel - Not enough time to make it in for a pedicure? This stuff will soften your feet and it also has a nice calming aroma. $9

So here is just a preview of things you can find in my bathroom that I use pretty much every single day! Do you have anything that you can't live without?

My next post will be about "baby" items that I can't live without (yep, I can't stay completely away from that topic) so keep following...